2021. What a long strange trip it’s already been.
I’ve put in a lot of work and completed a record number of courses for my degree during past two semesters. I will most likely graduate next fall, if nothing unexpected happens. I also feel like I’ve put in lots of hours during my spare time, trying to learn all I can about information security. The job applications I wrote in the spring must have taken around a hundred hours. That’s why it was taking its toll on me to always end up losing to a better candidate, sometimes even at the very end of the recruiting process.
But in the end, I got what I wanted. On the last day of 2020 I vowed to go pro in the field of cybersecurity in 2021. In June, less than six months later, I landed a job as a security analyst for the summer. If all goes well, I might be able to continue after my initial contract.
I am grateful beyond words. But surprisingly, I am not as happy as I imagined myself.
I live far away from my family and the lush, deep dark green forests of my home. Due to distance and COVID I have been unable to see them for 9 months. It’s heavy, considering how much they mean to me.
I’ve also been unable to do sports and have gained a little weight during the quarantine. At the end, nobody is to blame but myself, but it still sucks to see the state I’m in.
After living together for over a year, we moved apart with my partner. The situation is confusing and in all honesty I don’t think either of us knows what the future will bring.
All of the things above combined have become a source of stress. Thanks to the extremely hot summer (for me at least) and Finland’s nightless nights, I sleep only a couple of hours a night. I must supplement my brain with naps during the day, but I’m fucking tired all the time. If it’s not the heat, the light, or the racing thoughts, it’s the nightmares.
We’ll see how this all will pan out.
I’ve been through worse in life.
Just wanted to write things down for myself, so that I can look back in time and remember.
My memory isn’t that good, anyway.
Ex tenebris ad lucem.